Aayush has moved onto preschool. For the school, it is just transferring him to the class next door. For me, it is his first step to growing up. For him, a whole new batch of kids, bigger class and teachers that treat him more like an adult and less like a kid. He walked into the class this morning with me, his hand in mine, looked around the new surroundings and gulped twice. I bent down, intent on staying for a good while longer till he is comfortable in the new class.
“Aayush, I can stay for a while, if you like.”
He looked at me, gulped down hard to stop the lone tear in his right eye from falling amd said ina very low voice,
“You can go.”
Then, he smiled wobbly and said in a more firmer voice,
“I am OK..”
With that, he let go of my hand and walked over to one of the drawing boards. I stood there uncertainly and then slowly started backing away towards the door when he wouldn’t look back and seemed intent on drawing. He didn’t look back till he heard the door open and then gave a wide, real smile this time before waving me off.
I walked back to my car in a haze. This was the first time I got that feeling. He is growing up. There was a lump in my throat as I drove away, I did not feel that way even on the first day, I dropped him off at the daycare. He is becoming independent and much as I am proud of him, I am going to miss his clinging. The practical side of me is telling me that it is good thing and in good time,too. Anoushka has reached a age when she has started the clinging-to-mommy business right now. But, sometimes feelings have nothing to do with practicality.
There is a lump in my throat as I type this post. As I go to pick him up today, I gulp down the lump just as he had this morning. “I am OK..”, I say to myself just as he had to me this morning. There is Anoushka.